Love Alone Isn’t Enough, Is It?


I had a conversation with my lovely friend the other day about how I feel about my past relationship/my ex. I told her that I still love him, but a different kind of love. I no longer have the wanting to be with him, yet I sincerely care about him. In fact, I have him on my mind most of the time. She asked me if I’d think that we would get back together – my answer to her was no. No because he’s with someone now, and also my rational mind thinks that we aren’t good together. We are two worlds apart – mainly due to our age difference. Yes, during the relationship I didn’t feel the age gap, but now, in hindsight, I see that we are different. At least we are at different stages of life. I’m so-called at the peak of my career life, where he’s close to the end of the curve. He is pretty much ready to slow down and settle, but I feel so much energy that I still want to do and achieve more. I don’t think I can have the “retired” life at this period of my life. Though he’s now more mellow and gentle (we get along very well), but he’s a complicated man. I don’t know whether he could live with me – and vice versa. I don’t even know whether I’d be strong or wise enough to be able to understand him… So I don’t think we are good together. Having said that though, I still love him dearly. It’s a strange thing, as I can’t comprehend why I still care about the man who has hurt me so deeply..? I don’t know, perhaps I saw the vulnerable side of him that I’d like to tend to?

This makes me think that to have a healthy relationship, love alone isn’t enough. It takes a lot of factors for a relationship to be healthy and happy.. do you agree?

I’d like to hear what you think/experience. Do you think love conquers all? Please feel free to drop a comment or two.

Thank you! Wishing you well,

RL

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2 thoughts on “Love Alone Isn’t Enough, Is It?

  1. I guess love and life mean to be two different tracks. If they are closed enough, we could have them both together, but since they are aparting, the bigger the distance is, the harder it is, the more effort it requires to hold them together.

    If we are lucky, they stay close enough, or at lease within the range of our strength. Otherwise, it is going to break something in the end.

    I used to not getting why people cannot be together with the one they love or get divorce. I mean it is the 21 centry right? What can stop us loving? But I was only half correct, nothing can stop us loving. However, it take much much more to be together…

    Love and being together are totally two different stories. No matter being together or not love is love. We could never lie to our heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes – but also I think it depends on what type of love it is. If it’s more of romantic love, yes, it’s not enough. But there is more pure type of love (which is normally of parents to children) that can endure the hardships in the relationship… though it takes two to tango. So if both parties have this type of love, I think it can endure most challenges they face (ie it’s 80% of the ingredients but there is another 20% that goes to other qualities or values). So love again isn’t a determinant factor, but without it as a foundation, the relationship is doomed to fail regardless.

      Like

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